Patterns
September 21, 2023
From carpets to clothing, we see different patterns everywhere, every day. They are embedded in each of us as well, and while we can’t necessarily see them, they show up in various ways—how you feel, the choices you make, reactions you have, and things you’re drawn to.
We’re talking about emotional patterns—patterns you can’t see but have unknowingly formed after having different experiences that feel similar. For example, someone teased for speaking up in class when they were young may, later in life, fear sharing opinions and recommendations at work, despite being the expert on a particular subject. The pattern is fear of rejection.
Once you are aware of your behavioral patterns, you can work on changing them. This isn’t to say all patterns should be changed, but it’s with this awareness that you can choose whether or not you want them to be.
The next time you react to a situation in a way that fits one of your behavioral patterns, think about the circumstances that led up to it. You may find that your reaction was more automatic and fitting to a conditioned response and less deliberate or fitting to the specific situation.
For example, if you are someone who automatically blames your team for late projects but realizes soon after that your reactions are not fully warranted, ask yourself the following questions:
What is my role in overseeing projects?
What can I be doing to be a more accountable and supportive leader?
What steps can I take to ensure this behavioral pattern doesn’t happen again?
Asking yourself questions like these will help you not only identify the root of the situation but also the commonalities in your reactions. Identifying patterns in how you behave, think, or react to situations doesn’t explain the reason for doing so. Still, it provides you with the information you need to make deliberate and thoughtful changes in how you respond to challenges—leading you to react logically rather than reflect your emotional pattern.
Recognizing your patterns creates opportunities to consider alternate ways of handling situations. Changing how you do things can be challenging, but it also drives success and innovation. Remember, your awareness and subsequent choices are key strategies for helping you discover responsible ways to break unwanted behavioral patterns.