Fears
March 21, 2024
What fears do you have? Maybe you’re afraid of being judged by others, not being good enough, not meeting the expectations people impose on you, or being rejected. All of these fears surround emotions about intangible things—feelings about something that might or might not happen or anticipation of how you’ll be perceived.
Fear resides in the space between thought and action and may be an automatic reaction that prevents you from doing something or, conversely, catapults you into action. Ideally, your response to fear will be a deliberate effort to consciously and courageously face it head-on.
The latter is more likely to happen when you understand what contributes to your fears. Knowing how your emotions and anxieties influence the way you act and, more importantly, react will help you make smarter decisions rooted in logic. To do this, get curious and ask yourself questions to capture what is driving your feelings:
What am I really afraid of? Failure? Letting myself down? Letting others down?
Am I afraid of doing things that, based on my experience, skill, and knowledge, I believe I should be able to do or others think I should be able to do?
How is my fear guiding my decisions or limiting me from doing what I want and need to do?
For example, the fear of change is very common. It can be uncomfortable to try new things, modify well-established systems, or try to improve something others might find satisfactory or acceptable. When it comes to this, you can choose to feel the discomfort and work toward the change you believe in, or sit back and let the fear guide you.
The same concept can be applied to the fear of doing something that didn’t work out the first time—or maybe even the second. When you don’t succeed, you can either try again or convince yourself that you’ll never be successful. Speak to yourself with the same kind, encouraging words you would give a friend in this situation.
There are many ways to respond to fear, and they fall between a healthy and unhealthy reaction. For example, a healthy reaction would be accepting that others might not agree with you, acknowledging your fear while moving forward with the tasks at hand, willingly considering any feedback provided, and deciding whether or not the feedback justifies changing what you do.
On the unhealthier end of the spectrum, fear might contribute to feelings of concern that take up more headspace than warranted, ongoing feelings of anxiety and lack of confidence, altering your behavior to seek approval, or minimizing your abilities, knowledge, skills, and expertise.
The key to reaching a healthier emotional headspace is to willingly face your fears. Once you acknowledge the anxieties and feelings holding you back, you can begin to work through them rather than give in to them. This is where personal growth and professional development happen.
We all have fears, some real, others imagined. Whichever they are, how we respond to them is what matters. And that is up to us—we can take the unhealthy or healthy route. Personally, I am well aware that my default is the unhealthier one: avoidance. But over time, I've learned that I'm healthier and happier when I acknowledge them head-on and willingly face my fears.