September 22, 2014
I hope my children live a life filled with happiness and health. I hope they grow up to be productive and independent individuals who can take on challenges and make wise decisions. I hope they surround themselves with smart and caring people, have fulfilling careers and face obstacles with courage and strength.
As a parent, my goal is to help foster the development of these life skills without imposing my thinking, beliefs and ways of doing things upon my kids. My goal is to be honest and communicative and to be consistent, compassionate and caring. My goal is to continually monitor my own behavior and expectations thus allowing my kids the space to do the same for themselves.
These goals have remained the same over the years yet the way in which they have been addressed has evolved. At one point in time it was necessary to carry them up the stairs, cut up their food and schedule their social activities but as they got older and more independent, I recognized that some of my actions were no longer helpful, needed nor beneficial and I therefore chose to no longer do them.
When I find myself doing something that I believe my children can or should be doing themselves, I think about what it is that I can do differently so that I no longer participate in the task. What can I do to take the onus off of me and direct it to them? Will I follow through or automatically revert back to old ways?
As I think about my goals, I recognize the significance of accountability, responsibility and focusing on the things that I deem important. I think about my continual efforts to achieve them and acknowledge that my goals are on-going and not time limited. I believe this will help me grow as an individual personally and professionally and my kids will also reap the benefits. Time will tell of course, but my hunch is that the more I focus on my goals, the more likely I will help foster opportunities of personal growth for my kids too.