Somebody’s Daughter

January 21, 2022

Ashley C. Ford's memoir, Somebody's Daughter, was an intriguing yet sometimes challenging read about her traumatic childhood. Drawn in by her life story and efforts to make sense of what she experienced, I was especially struck by her words toward the end of the book when she said, "If I'd learned anything being on my own these last few years, it was how much I needed this time away from my family to see myself clearly." (p. 202)

I agree with Ashley C. Ford; temporarily stepping away from intense situations provides time and space for gaining perspective and objectivity about deep-rooted challenges. Doing so nurtures inner strength and can help to avoid getting sucked back into old patterns that aren't beneficial to your overall wellbeing. 

If the weight of your experiences crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy, consider it your cue that change is necessary. If possible, temporarily remove yourself from the situation, be it short-term or a bit longer, just like Ashley C. Ford. Use this time to decompress and develop strategies for behaving in ways that responsibly align with your wants and needs. When it's time to reengage, focus on your plan without reverting back to your old and more emotionally challenging ways. 

Without giving away details of her story, Ashley C. Ford gifts her readers a first-hand account of how she can now spend time with her family without morphing into the person she thought they expected her to be. She illustrated regaining, maybe even discovering, her sense of self and explained how she developed emotionally safer and satisfying family relationships by not falling back into her old and unhealthy patterns.

I wish the powerful stories told in memoirs like Ashley C. Ford's, were fiction. Her account about being able to "see myself clearly," is heartbreaking and heartwarming. She demonstrates the benefits of having time and space away from emotionally challenging people and situations. Her personal growth was life-changing and life-enhancing, which undoubtedly helped her believe what you hopefully already know and believe; we are all irreplaceable human beings who are far more than just Somebody's Daughter. 

If you feel stuck and face challenges that impede your overall happiness and wellbeing, consider coaching with Hammer Leadership. Lauren Hammer works with her clients to develop realistic strategies for making the necessary changes so that, like Ashley C. Ford, you can experience your personal and professional life with more satisfaction and self-worth.