Say No to Others and Yes to Yourself

August 21, 2024

Managing multiple responsibilities and deadlines can be overwhelming, sometimes leaving people feeling chaotic and stressed. Time management strategies like time-blocking can be helpful, yet their benefits are limited as they don’t address the underlying reasons these challenges exist. They also don’t serve as a proactive guide for deciding how and when to commit to the very tasks and responsibilities you’re trying to manage.

To state the obvious, there are only 24 hours in a day, and only so much can be accomplished within that time. It’s unrealistic to think, let alone expect yourself, to fulfill every request and meet every deadline. Striving for this won’t set you up for success but will instead lead to frustration, burnout, and overwhelm.

Sometimes, we agree to things because it makes us feel good or we’re afraid of letting someone down. But adding more to an already packed schedule is like trying to pour more water into an already full cup—it’s bound to overflow.

Being mindful of how you spend your time and setting realistic expectations for yourself is necessary. You can start by not automatically agreeing to requests, even if it feels uncomfortable or you're concerned about disappointing others. Instead, evaluate whether saying yes would lead to neglecting your existing responsibilities.

Consider the short-term discomfort of making such a change against the long-term benefits of recalibrating how you make decisions. Giving yourself permission to choose how you spend your time is a powerful opportunity for personal growth—one that is empowering, motivating, and energizing.  Allow yourself to re-think how you make decisions and choices based on what truly aligns with your goals and bandwidth.

Letting go of commitments can feel daunting. You might worry that you’re not meeting your own or others’ expectations, but if those expectations were unrealistic from the start (which they often are), then saying yes is setting yourself up for frustration.

Instead, set yourself up for success and avoid blindly agreeing to requests by being more intentional about your commitments with the following: 

Pause and Reflect: Before agreeing to something that will demand your time and energy, take a moment to consider the full scope of what you’re committing to. Reflect on your existing responsibilities and how they might impact your well-being.

Be Deliberate: Don’t automatically say yes when someone asks something of you or because you have the skill, interest, or ability to do something. Think about how it will impact you and how your time is being spent.

Follow Through: If you make a commitment, be it because it was delegated to you or you chose to take it on, see it through to fruition. Be accountable, don’t leave others waiting, and manage your obligations responsibly.

Time management is more than just drafting a daily plan — it's a strategic process that demands deliberate efforts about what, when, and how you spend your time. It includes making decisions that align with your interests, desires, commitments, and capacity. 

Prioritizing yourself over others requires courage and understanding that the long-term benefits of actively managing your time far outweigh the short-term discomfort of knowing that others may be disappointed or disagree with your choices. 

Time management requires thoughtful decisions about your time, well-being, and responsibilities. It starts with understanding what drives your choices and remembering that sometimes when you say yes to others, you’re saying no to yourself. The opposite is also true: that you can say no to others and yes to yourself.